Everything that had happen to me before....will stay with me for the rest of my life. Iam the type of person who fears of getting hurt. And feel at times that no matter where I go it finds me. Everytime i have to push myself forward and hope for the best. Finally after months of searching i recently got a job...something for me to do to keep busy. And staying busy is what keeps me grounded and from goin crazy from every day life mishaps.

There are times in your life u do things u think are right....and end up getting hurt or blamed anyways. You do what u can and hope for the best they say. How do you get up after all this...i guess try to have a little faith. And it helps to have someone too.

For awhile now, I spent alot of my time trying not to think of what had happen  the past year... just when i was feeling better and little happier with myself something always happens then...i hope more good happens soon.

I'am a person who cant sleep if something is wrong, iam a person who even at the slightest moment of feeling that i did anything wrong my conscience would haunt me, axiety would overcome me and i end up crying because i have no controll of a situation. Ive begun to give up at times my patience has grown thin more and more...

Lately i laugh a bit, smile a bit, my heart doesnt feel heavy...i have those ups and downs but i look forward for more days to feel contempt again...